I left Nathan after he seemed more stable. I still didn’t know what happened,  just that someone hurt him and he was afraid. 

 

Poor guy. 

 

I went back to the Void and looked at my shards of light.  None of them seemed brighter than the others. That’s how I decided where to go these days. Maybe it was time for a vacation.

 

I picked one at random. 

 

I was in a pine forest. 

 

I took a deep breath and turned in a slow circle. Nature was beautiful. 

 

“Take your shoes off.”

 

I spun around, startled. Who could see me??

 

“Oh fuuuuck, it’s you!” I exclaimed.

 

The man smiled but pressed his finger to his lips and shushed me.  He approached me silently, and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Other people live here,” he said quietly, “you’re frightening them.”

 

“Oh shit—“ I clamped my hands over my mouth, and glanced around. 

 

I didn’t see anyone else. 

 

The man shook his head and pointed into a tree.  He got right up next to me and put our heads together so that I could see where he was looking. 

 

“Do you see her?” He whispered.

 

I squinted, and whispered back, “I don’t see anyone..?”

 

“She’s hiding from you, but she’s watching. Look for a pair of black eyes.”

 

I looked hard, trying to make various tree textures into a person. I was about to give up when I finally saw it. 

 

“Oh!”  I covered my mouth again. 

 

“Aaah, you see her now,” he said brightly, yet still in hushed tones. 

 

“You got me all worked up over a squirrel?” 

 

The man shrugged. “*She* lives here.  *We* are visiting. I see no reason to be rude.”

 

He began walking in a random direction. 

 

“Wait, you don’t live here?” I asked, following him. 

 

He snorted. “You think I live naked in the woods?”

 

“Well,” I shrugged, “I haven’t seen you anywhere else... or in cloths. Is it some kind of forest shaman thing?”

 

He chuckled. “No, I just don’t like clothing.  I chafe.”

 

“You *are* some kind of shaman though, right?” 

 

“Yes.” He stopped walking. “Take off your shoes.”

 

“I’m not wearing any, dude.”

 

His eyes widened and he looked down at my feet. “How are you so loud?”

 

I laughed, “I dunno.”

 

The man rolled his eyes and continued walking. 

 

“So hey, what should I call you?”

 

“There are many ways to say it in this language.”

 

“Oh.. ok well can we try a few and see what fits?”

 

“Speaks to Rocks, is one interpretation. Or Talks with Stones. Or perhaps... Converses with Minerals.” He chuckled. 

 

“Oh, wait do you really talk to stones?”  I bent down and picked up a rock. “What’s it say?”

 

Talks with Stones took the rock from me and held it to his ear. “It says.. Why would you move me?  How rude.”

 

I just looked at him for a moment unsure if he was serious. 

 

Then he grinned and dropped the rock. “I’m kidding. It didn’t have much to say.  Rocks are not actually very talkative.”

 

“Oh,” I chuckled nervously, “so the name isn’t—“

 

“It’s a silly nickname. Because I spend a lot of time listening to the Earth.  Sometimes the rocks speak, but not as often as other things.”

 

“That’s cool,” I said. 

 

“I am rather fond of stones though.”

 

We came upon a small camp.  Talks with Stones motioned for me to have a seat. I stood near the ashy remains of a small fire and looked around.  All dried leaves and pine needles and twigs had been swept away from the fire. There was a woven blanket folded up on the dirt. 

 

I looked at Talks with Stones and considered whether I should leave the blanket for *him* to sit on when he finished... doing.. whatever he was doing.  He was like.. foraging?  Or something?  He was looking around on the ground and in weeds and shit.

 

He roused from his gathering and looked  at me. He motioned to the blanket and said, “sit.”

 

I sat down on the blanket and waited. 

 

When Talk with Stones returned he had an arm full of tall grasses. He settled in next to me and spread everything out in front of us.

 

“You hungry?” He asked. 

 

I tried not balk. “Umm.”

 

He laughed and shook his head. “You’re so easy.”  He picked up several pieces of grass and braided them together. “Here, look.”  He grabbed my hand and tied the grass braid around my wrist. 

 

I gasped and grinned. “That’s so dope!”  I brought my wrist up to my face so I could look at it closely. 

 

Talks with Stones taught me how to make all kinds of braids, and when I was through the process of asking a million questions about it he shifted the conversation. 

 

“I sense that you’ve been busy since the last time I saw you,” He said. 

 

“Busy?” I paused to think about that. “I mean.. I’ve met some other people.  They can usually see me when they’re real high,” I chuckled. 

 

“Mmm,” Talks with Stones hummed, “But you feel drawn to them when they need something, right?”

 

“Oh uum..” I thought about that too. “I mean.. I guess?”

 

“Where were you last?”

 

“With some sort of... cat dude?  I *feel* like his name is Nathan, but I can’t remember if he told me that or if he just *feels* like a Nathan. “

 

Talks with Stones laughed quietly and continued braiding his grass. 

 

I picked mine up again too and tried to remember which blade of grass to move next. 

 

Talks with Stones waited until I figured out what I was doing before he spoke again. “How was he?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Nathan.”

 

“Oh,” I said, and squinted one eye while I tried to talk and braid at the same time, “he was real messed up about something. I found him crying in his basement.”

 

I felt my tongue slip out of my mouth as I got closer to the end of my grass, and I bit down on it. 

 

“But that’s how it normally goes, right?” Talks with Stones looked at me pointedly. 

 

“Well, yeah.”  I screwed up my face as I forced the very tips of the grass into a braid. “Sometimes it’s fun though.  There’s this kid who’s always doing acid or Moly or somethin’.  He’s a fuckin’ riot. Although.... sometimes he’s the opposite of that..”

 

Talks with Stones leaned over and took the braid from me. “How are you going to tie this off?” He asked gently. 

 

“Ah, nerps, I went too far.”

 

“A sentiment I sense you could apply to various aspects of your life.”

 

“Woah..” I breathed. “That’s deep man.”

 

“No it isn’t,” he said with a smile and a shake of his head. “It’s a casual observation based on my limited contact with you.”

 

“Well, okay, but you’re like *dead on*,” I insisted. “That’s even how I died!” I laughed. “I took *so many* psychedelics— I’m not even 100% sure if I’m dead or if this is just part of the trip and I’m gonna wake up and it’s only been like fifteen minutes or something.”

 

“Oh you died,” Talks with Stones confirmed, “but also, this is part of the trip.”

 

“I guess that’s what you get when you die tripping,” I chuckled. 

 

“You still have lessons to learn,” he said, “and work to do, apparently.” He undid the end of my grass braid until there was an inch of loose grass at the bottom. “Here,” He said as he handed it back to me, “tie it off.”

 

I twisted the grass around my fingers and forced it into a knot. 

 

When the sky got dark Talks With Stones built us a little fire. He asked me about the places I’d been and the people I’d managed to communicate with.  It was refreshing to talk to someone about the experience. I mostly didn’t get into it with anyone. 

 

“What I don’t get,” I said after a small lull in the conversation, “is why it’s only *one* person in each place who can see me. I mean..” I furrowed my brow, “as far as I know.  I guess it’s possible that I haven’t tried everything yet— but it really *feels* like it’s just one person from every place who can see me.”

 

Talks With Stones smiled. 

 

“What?  You know something, don’t you!?”

 

He laughed. 

 

“Tell me! Come on!” I was laughing now too but I wasn’t sure why. 

 

“Ok, ok,” he said. “You and I are the same.”

 

“What?  Like.. I’m some kind of weird shaman guy?”

 

“Well, yes, actually, but that’s not what I meant.”

 

“We’re both brown?  I think it’s a different kind of brown tho...”

 

He laughed again. “No, no, listen. We are the same *soul*.”

 

I just looked at him for a moment. “Like... wait.. like you’re me?  Or I’m you?  Are you telling me you’re like.. one of my past lives or something?”

 

“Something like that.”

 

“Ok no wait but D is from.. like.. the same time period as me. We could have lived at the same time. How’s he a *past* life?”

 

Talks with Stones shrugged. “You can’t assume all time is linear just because you experience it that way.”

 

I stared at him with my mouth open. 

 

“A bug’s going to fly in there if you’re not careful,” he said. 

 

I closed my mouth.  “So.. I.. Wait..” I rubbed my forehead and scrunched up my face. 

 

“Don’t try so hard to make sense of it,” Talks With Stones said, “just accept it and let it be what it is.”

 

“Ok so.. so everyone I’ve talked to is.. me.. in a different life?”

 

“There you go,” he said. “Does it feel true?”

 

“Yea,” I answered. “It feels, like, *really* true.” I sat with that for a little while, then I remembered- “wait, you think I’m a shaman?”

 

Talks With Stones chuckled. “Do you know what a shaman is?”

 

“Some kind of magic dude, right?”

 

“Almost,” He said, trying to hold back laughter so he could speak. “A shaman is a bridge between worlds. Usually it’s between the physical and the spirit world, but the purpose is generally to heal or protect in some way. From what I’ve heard tonight, it seems like your driving instinct is to heal anyone who needs it.”

 

“Well.. yea,” I said. “I don’t understand *not* wanting to help everyone. Like.. what kind of person doesn’t want to help other people?”

 

“The same kind of people who want to hunt you down and ship you away because you don’t belong here.”

 

“How do you know about that?!”

 

“I knew it the first time we met. You almost lost yourself completely, but *that* is one fear you could not lose. It’s been with you so long it has become a part of you.”

 

“Ok but.. but when I, like.. think about who I am.. I don’t.. like... being afraid of getting deported isn’t—“

 

“Nevertheless,” Talks With Stones interrupted me, “it effects your decisions and has shaped your entire life. You worked hard not to think about it unless you had to.”

 

“...yeah, and I organized my life so that it almost never came up.”

 

“You see?  It’s a part of you, even if you *are* good at avoidance.”

 

“Aw man.  I spent my whole life doing drugs and avoiding stuff.”

 

Talks With Stones chuckled again. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

 

“Yea but I was prolly supposed to, Y’know, *do* something.”

 

“You’re doing something *now*,” he said, “I think that counts.”

 

“I guess,” I sighed and looked up just in time to see a bolt of lightning streak across the sky. “Oh shit.” I ducked and covered my ears when the thunder cracked above us. “That was weird, right?”

 

“You should go,” Talks With Stones said. He stood up and tugged me along with him. “No wind. No rain.” He sniffed the air. “I don’t smell a storm. This is an omen. Something is happening.  Either you have a job, or I do. Either way, we should say goodbye for now.”

 

“Ok,” I said and hugged him tight. “Thanks for everything.”

 

I stepped away and the Void faded in around me. I looked at my shards of light and they were all going off like fireworks.

 

“Whaaaat theeee fuuuuuck..?”