The door opened to Marcy’s room. I was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed. There was a look on my face— I was thinking about Lizzy. 

I grabbed Andrew’s arm. 

“I know when this is,” I whispered. “Shut the door.”

“...There is no door,” Andrew said. 

I looked away for the first time and realized that we were standing inside the room. The door that led us here was gone. 

“Oh shit! What?!”  I heard Seth panicking in my ear. “How did that happen!?”

“I don’t know,” Andrew said calmly, “but we should *probably* get the fuck out of here.”

Marcy appeared, and I turned to face the wall. “Oh my god this isn’t fucking happening!” 

“It isn’t,” Andrew said. “This is just a memory.”

I felt his arm around my shoulders and I turned into him. He enveloped me. I tried not to listen to Marcy’s words, but they were so loud. 

“Hey, Seth, is there *anything* you can do?” Andrew asked. 

Seth came back frantically, “I’m trying guys, I really fucking am!  You’re in a Static Zone, and I can’t access shit!”

Andrew rubbed my back and rested his chin on my bowed head. I was trying to contain everything.  There was a lot I didn’t want to feel. Once it started it wouldn’t stop, and I’d have to feel all of it. 

“Ok guys,” Seth panted, “I’m so sorry. Maybe we can f-figure out something on your end.”  He sounded exhausted and frustrated. “Maybe if we can figure out why *this* room appeared, we can... I dunno,” he trailed off. 

“That’s a good idea, Seth,” Andrew said. “You just need more coffee, man. C’mon, you got this.”

“Right. Ok. So.. Jack, were you thinking about—“

“I’m always thinking about it!” I shouted into Andrew’s chest. 

I knew *why* we were here. It wasn’t a fucking mystery. Her words echoed through my head any time I wasn’t actively thinking about something else. I couldn’t relax. Her fucking punishment worked, I didn’t need to watch it happen again!

She hated me. Message received. Maybe she was even right. Maybe I deserved this. Maybe I was selfish, and terrible. 

“Ok so that probably means this room responds to you.  It was drawn to you, so maybe you can control it.”

Andrew lifted his head and gasped a little. “Jack.  Jack, look at me.  Seth can you see this shit?”

“Yes.  That black goo is bad.”

“Oh really?  I wouldn’t have guessed that.” Andrew grumbled. “Jack, look at me!”

I lifted my head. It felt so heavy. I just wanted to melt away, it was so hard to move. 

“Jack stay with me. What’s going on in your head, man?”

“She hates me,” I slurred, “I should just live outside and eat worms.” I giggled quietly and let my head fall backwards. “She hates me. Nothing matters.”

Andrew supported my head with his hand. “No, Jack, she doesn’t hate you. She’s just confused and angry.”

“She hates me,” I said, “I know what hate feels like.”

“No. Jack.”  Andrew fumbled to keep his grip on me as I slipped to the floor.

It felt good to collapse. The black tar collected under me like blood, and I didn’t care. It soaked through my cloths and hair.  It was sticky like syrup. 

“How did he get out of here before?” I heard Andrew’s voice. He wasn’t standing next to me anymore. He was looking around the room. 

“You appeared in the mirror,” Seth said.

“Oh.  Right. Can we fast forward to when that happens?”

“I think Jack would have to do it, and it doesn’t look like he can pull it together right now.” 

“Ugh!”  I heard Andrew turn in a circle. The floor sounded wet and sticky under his feet. My puddle of tar must be spreading. “What if I draw a room to us?”

“You mean like-“

“Jack drew this room to us by thinking about it. What if I can think about something and—“

“Yes!  It’d have to be something intense that you remember really well.  Pick something with strong emotions or visceral sensations.  It can be good or bad, but bad seems to have a more magnetic effect.”

“Uuuuh... I think I got something.”

Andrew and Seth both fell silent. Everything was quiet except the sound of myself sobbing after Marcy disappeared again. I felt nothing. I deserved to be empty. 

“Look out the window, I think it worked!”

Andrew forced the window open then grabbed me by the arm and dragged me across the floor. “Why’re you so *fucking* heavy?” He grunted as he hefted me through the window. I landed hard on the other side. 

My eyes felt sticky but I forced them open.  I was laying in a room. No.. it was more like a large reading nook at the end of a hallway. I could see a staircase leading down at the end.

Andrew climbed through the window and crouched down next to me. “Are you ok?” He asked, and I grunted. 

The furniture in the room was occupied by kids who looked like they’d be Andrew’s friends. Actually, I could see Andrew’s hat over the back of the couch in front of me.  

There were creaking footsteps on the stairs, and a girl with black hair and blond bangs jumped up from where she’d been sitting. She’d been in the lap of another girl, and she quickly settled into Andrew’s.  An older man slowly appeared from downstairs and walked down the hallway towards us. The girl in Andrew’s lap kissed him on the mouth. 

I heard the Andrew next to me exhale loudly. 

“Lindsey!” The older man barked when he reached our end of the hall. “Andrew!”  The man advanced on them, and Lindsey jumped out of Andrew’s lap. He grabbed Andrew by the sweater and hauled him off of the couch.

“Hey, c’mon man!” Andrew complained. 

“You keep yer hands offa my little girl!”

“Daddy!  Stop!  He didn’t do anything!” Lindsey shouted. 

“It’s fine, I’m leaving,” Andrew said and stalked down the hall. He looked pissed. 

I took a deep breath and sat up. 

“Hey,” Andrew said next to me, “how’re you feeling?”

“I’m ok,” I said. 

Now that I was focused outside of myself again the black tar was receding.   The room morphed to follow Andrew as he stormed out of Lindsey’s house. Every door he passed through was slammed loudly behind him.  When it was his bedroom door he slammed it shut then turned and punched it several times.  

“Ok let’s.. let’s go,” Andrew said, “cuz this version of me is about to start jerking off, and *I* don’t really need to see that.”

“Check all the doors in the house, guys,” Seth said, and I startled. 

Andrew looked at me. I shrugged. “I forgot he was there.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and opened the bedroom door. “This one’s normal,” he said as he stepped into the hall. “C’mon, Jack.”

I closed the door behind me and stayed close to Andrew. I slipped my hand into his and laced our fingers together. He acknowledged me with a gentle squeeze.  I followed him around while he opened all the doors in his house, but I didn’t really help or pay attention. I felt..

Hollow. 

It wasn’t like before when I felt nothing. This felt like.. I don’t have another word to describe it. I felt hallow, and it hurt. 

Whenever Andrew stopped to open a door I leaned against him.  

“Seth, everything seems normal here.” Andrew said. “You can probably get a door to us now. I think we should call it a day.”

“Copy that,” Seth said, and a moment later a door appeared in the middle of Andrew’s living room.  He led me through it, and Seth stood up from his computer to greet us. “Jack, are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” I mumbled with half my face pressed against Andrew’s shoulder. 

“I am *so* sorry. I don’t know how you got into that room, you never stepped through the door. You were just—“

“It’s ok,” Andrew said. “I think we just need to..”

“I wanna lay down,” I said. 

“Yea, That.”

“Ok,” Seth said, “we can.. we can debrief later.”

Andrew led me to the guest bedroom Seth made for us at the end of the hall. There were two beds, and Andrew sat down on the edge of mine to kick off his shoes.  Then he stretched out on it and looked at me. 

“Come here, Jack,” he said. 

I shuffled across the floor and laid down on top of him.  

He petted my hair.  

I shoved my arms between him and the mattress and held on tight.  I couldn’t get close enough to him.  I wanted his warmth to sink through my skin. I wanted to feel him in my muscle and bone. I needed something to fill the hollowness. 

It hurt to much.  

I shifted against him and felt something firm.  I rolled my hips a little, and Andrew stopped petting my hair. 

“What’re you doing?”

I stopped and looked up at him. “I’m.. I mean I’d ask, but you’re already h—“

“A hard-on is not a ‘yes’, Jack, and you, of all people, should know that.”  His voice wasn’t loud but it was strict and it stung, and it made me look back down. 

“Sorry,” I muttered. I wondered if I should leave, but I didn’t want to stop touching him. My insides ached, and his pressure against my body was the only thing that soothed it. 

I felt him throb faintly.  I looked up at his face again. “If I asked, would you say no?”

“Jack I’m 17,” he said. 

“So?”

“You’re an adult right now.”

I huffed and looked down again. “It all feels the same.”

“Well it isn’t.  Boundaries are important, Jack.  I need some things to *always* be true, no matter what.”

I felt tense. I forgot to breathe for a moment. Andrew was right. He had paranoid delusions sometimes, and he needed some parts of reality to be fixed.  The inside of my chest hurt.  I was only three years older than him. It seemed like an arbitrary line to draw at 18. I didn’t feel any different now at 20 than I did when I was 16. Well...

Well, I felt different since Marcy...

I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut. 

“I’m not mad—“ Andrew started, but I scrambled to my feet. 

“No, no, no!  It’s not that!” My hands were on my head pulling at my hair. “Whenever I think she’s there!  I-I don’t understand what I did!”  Andrew rushed to me and tried to pull my hands out of my hair. He looked blurry through my tears. “Sh-She- she *told* me!  I asked her and she *told* me!  ‘Jack, do the things I can’t do!’  That’s what she wanted!  I was *supposed* to ignore her!!  Why-“ I sobbed and couldn’t speak. 

Couldn’t breathe. 

Couldn’t stand. 

I felt Andrew’s hands supporting me as I fell. I clung to his sweater as the floor rushed toward me.  I felt dizzy, and hot, and my heart was racing. My arms and legs were shaking. It felt like my skin was vibrating.  I wanted to warn Andrew but I couldn’t control my breath enough to speak. All I could do was choke down a little gasp of air before I retched on him. 

The black sludge coated my mouth and dripped from my nose. 

“Oh my god,” Andrew gasped. He took off his sweater and used a clean corner of it to wipe my face. 

“Nonowait—“ I threw-up again, this time on the carpet.  

Andrew pulled my hair out of my face and held it while I heaved up.. just.. a *lot* of black tar.  I choked, and sputtered, and gasped for air. 

“It’s ok,” Andrew murmured, “you’re ok.”

I was weak by the time it was over.   I could barely hold myself up.

Andrew braided my hair loosely before he let it go and cleaned my face with his sweater. I sat back and lifted my hands off the floor. 

“Oh god.” I closed my eyes against the sight of tar clinging to me. 

Andrew took each of my hands and wiped the black sludge off of them. 

“There,” he said. “Look. Everything’s ok.”

I curled my hands against my chest. I still felt like I was shaking. There were still tears in my eyes. I still felt hollow. 

The black sludge started crawling toward the door. I shuffled away from it and leaned against the wall. Andrew and I watched as it oozed through the crack under the door. 

“Come here,” Andrew said and he pulled me to my feet. I gripped his arms hard with my hands. He led me to my bed, and with every step I felt like I might fall.  Andrew folded down my blankets and sat me in my bed. He helped me lay down, and he tucked me in. 

“I’ll be right back,” he said, and left the room. 

I pulled the blankets over my head and shook. 

“Are you still awake,” he said when he returned, and I poked my head out. Andrew set a bottle of water on my night stand, and a can of something next to it. “Seth only has canned tea.”

I wrinkled my nose. 

“Yea, that’s what I thought too.” Andrew said.  “You should drink some water though.”

He picked up the bottle and cracked the seal before he handed it to me. I sat up a little and had a sip. 

“I’m sorry,” I said. 

Andrew sat down on his bed. “What’s a little vomit between friends?”

“No, I mean before that.”

“Don’t.. don’t dwell on it, Jack.” He said. “I’m not mad. And I wasn’t before either. I’m just very blunt.”

“Ok,” I said. “I won’t.. I won’t do it again.”

“It’s alright when we’re the same age, Jack.” He said.

I took a deep breath and put the water back on the night stand. I sank into my blankets and sighed. “Rules are hard.”

“Rules are important.”

Narrator: Jack