​

My work with Reggie gave me an idea. I got a bunch of screens and paneled my living room wall. Each one could follow a different person's feed.  I know, I know. That’s a little creepy. Especially since the only one of them that knew about me was Reggie.  Or maybe that’s what made it easy. I didn’t have a personal relationship with any of them (except Reggie). I was on the outside looking in. They were people in the abstract. 

 

I turned my first screen to Dante.  He was shooting up at a table in the back of a dark club.  I grinned. Dante was always doing something inappropriate. 

 

There was someone at the table with him. I thought he seemed familiar.  I scrolled through videos with my ocular display.  I stopped on one featuring a person completely encased in black. They looked less like a person and more like a shadow.  The eyes and mouth glared white like stars. I looked between the two videos. These felt like the same people but I had no reason to think that. 

 

Of course sometimes in a place like this you could just Know something. 

 

I looked back at Dante's feed just in time to watch his head rise.  He took a deep breath and rubbed his hand down his face.  He smiled a little. 

 

Then he turned his head and saw the other guy at his table. 

 

“Who the fuck are you?” He said. 

 

“Oh shit you can see me now?” The guy said. 

 

“Now?”  Dante shook his head. “Oh I get it. You’re not real. I’m passed out on this table. God I hope I don’t OD... Ah whatever.”

 

“What?  No, my name is Eddy. You’re not passed out. I’ve been following you around sort of.. intermittently.  I’ve been following a couple different people, actually, but they can’t see me either. Except Andrew for some reason.”

 

Dante blinked through Eddy’s explanation. I’m not sure he followed it. 

 

I saved Eddy’s ID code so I could find him later. 

 

“Ok so you’re.. what then?” Dante asked Eddy. 

 

“I think I might be a ghost.”

 

“Nope!  No. You’re not real. I don’t believe in ghosts or spirits or nun’a that shit.”  Dante declared. He drummed his hands on the table. “I’m passed out. I took too much FUCKING heroin!  And now I’m gonna die here. Oh god I promised Tommy I wouldn’t OD in his club. Uuugh he’s gonna be so pissed. Ah but I’ll be dead so what do I care.”

 

“No dude I’m telling you, you’re not passed out,” Eddy seemed a little amused. “You’re actually pretty lucid right now.”

 

“Am I?  Ok that’s good.  That’s good.  Wait I’m awake?  Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah man.”

 

“Ok because I feel like I can’t open my fuckin’ eyes.”  Dante searched around in his pockets and then in his bag. “Can’t fuckin’ see.”

 

“It is pretty dark in here,” Eddy observed. 

 

“Oh shit you’re right!” Dante looked up with a cigarette between his lips. “You’re smart. You want a smoke?”  He shoved a cigarette in Eddy’s direction, and Eddy seemed surprised when he could hold it.  “D’you think they’ll mind if we smoke back here?  Eh, I’ll just suck someone off if we get in trouble. It’ll be fine.”

 

I chuckled.  I wasn’t experienced in the world of drugs, but I guessed that D had taken something else before he took his heroin. The effect was that he had that chilled out look while also talking real fast. 

 

“No but seriously who the fuck are you?” Dante asked again. “I definitely feel like I *know* you. Y’know?  Like you’re..” he gestured meaninglessly. “I don’t know how to fucking say it but it’s like an itch in my brain and I should Know you. It’s like we’re related and I forgot how?”

 

“Ok,” Eddy said slowly. He was reclined, enjoying his cigarette. “I can feel that.  But I don’t, like, have a satisfying answer for you.”

 

“Eh. When is anything ever satisfying.”  Dante said. He took a good look at Eddy. “I bet *you’d* be satisfying tho.”

 

I snorted, and Eddy choked on his cigarette smoke. 

 

“Come on, I’m not even-“

 

“No *you* come on!” Dante interrupted. “I dunno what drugs you’re on, but you’re not a ghost, bro.”  He reached out and jabbed Eddy in the shoulder.  “You’re just really high. Roll with it.”

 

I turned on another screen and muted Dante. 

 

This one was Reggie. She was lurking around the Core, ringing her hands nervously and trying to work up her nerve. The light was red, so I assumed Marco was Out.  The only other Red I knew of was a dragon, and there was almost never call for him. 

 

David strolled around the bend. 

 

“You seem like you’re up to something,” he said, and Reggie startled. 

 

“Do I?” She laughed nervously. 

 

“Or you’ve already done it?  Either way, you look guilty.”  David shrugged. 

 

“Do I?  Uuugh. It’s because I wanna do something I probably shouldn’t do.” Reggie groaned. 

 

“What is it?”

 

“I wanna go Out there and find out what Dante remembered about his life.  Because apparently he’s not the guy he told Marcy he was.”

 

“Who does Marcy think he is?” David asked. 

 

“That’s.. a really long story. He’s a complicated kid.”

 

“Oh I know,” David said, “I was Out there after him- I actually had to wrestle him back inside. So I know what he remembers. I’m trying to imagine what he thought the clean version was.  But listen, Reggie.. people usually lie to protect themselves.  Just keep that in mind if you, y’know decide to cross this particular line. I don’t think you should, by the way.”

 

“Of course you don’t,” Reggie sighed.

 

“If he found out I don’t think he’d ever trust you again. He’s not very forgiving.”

 

“Ok but this is what I’m talking about. You Know him in a way I don’t because you know these things about him.  I don’t know how to handle this fucking kid and he pisses me off *so much*!!”

 

David shrugged. “I’m not going to stop you, Reggie.  You don’t have to convince me.  How did you plan on getting Out there anyway?”

 

Reggie shifted uneasily. “Well I thought maybe I’d just, sort of.. blend my way in?  I don’t need to get all the way out. I just need to skirt close enough to make us think about something...”

 

“Well that sounds hard,” David sighed, “but good luck, I suppose.”

 

Reggie leaned backwards into the core and took a deep breath. She sank into the red light, and the video feed didn’t follow her.

 

I turned on another screen and looked for her POV signal, but all I got was static.  I ‘hm’ed quietly and turned my attention to Dante's screen. 

 

Eddy was gone. 

 

I ran to my computer room and put Eddy’s code into my door. I opened it, and there was Eddy.  Sitting in the Void. 

 

“Hey buddy,” I said

 

“Oh.. what?” Eddy looked at my doorway in disbelief. 

 

“I was just curious.. what do you think is going on?” I asked

 

“What like.. I ripped my soul from my body tripping too hard and my spirit is stuck just wandering the multiverse?  Like *that* level of what’s going on?  Or.. do you wanna know what I think your door is doing here just randomly in the middle of nothing?”

 

“The first one. Thanks.” I said, and closed the door again. 

 

Reggie was still in the Core when I got back.  I could see David pacing back and forth, muttering.  I put his feed on a screen so I could hear him. 

 

“Stupid, so stupid. It’s gonna be awkward every time I see him now.  I mean what are we even doing?  Is this like a thing now?  Do I pretend it never happened?  Oh Christ, I don’t feel good.”  David stopped pacing and bent over. He braced his hands on his knees and breathed.  Then he pressed one hand to his belly and frowned. 

 

“Ah. Poor guy,” I said to myself. 

 

Reggie floated back out of the Core.  Her mission was a success. She looked tired. Like she’d just learned something terrible.  She just stood there for a moment, until she noticed David. 

 

“Hey,” she said, “Are you okay?”  She put her hand on David’s shoulder. 

 

“Oh I’m fine,” David stood straight and pretended not to be ill. “It’s just stress. Please, Reggie, don’t worry about me.”

 

Reggie looked concerned, but she humored him.  Probably because Marco slipped out of the Core at that moment. Reggie rushed to get his attention as he walked by her. 

 

“Hey man, wait a minute!”

 

Marco turned and looked at her. “Yea?”

 

“I’m sorry,” She said.  “I haven’t been able to get out there in a long time, and I know it’s been you on call 24/7 by yourself.  I’ve been.. kind of a bitch, and I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s alright,” Marco said with a shrug. “Like I’m an example of perfect fuckin’ behavior. Sorry for choking you, by the way.”

 

“Oh yeah. You did do that,” Reggie said slowly. “Ah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.  Listen I gotta go.. do something.”

 

Reggie walked away, leaving Marco and David alone. 

 

“Hey,” Marco said. 

 

“Hey,” David answered. 

 

“You alright?” Marco asked, and David shifted uncomfortably. 

 

“Oh I’m fine,” he said, and Marco laughed. 

 

“You’re kinda’ bad at lying. You wanna try that again?”

 

“I’m just not sure what.. what we’re *doing* now?”  David said uncomfortably. 

 

Marco stepped closer to him and touched his hand. 

 

“Did these guys do it or something?” I said. “How did I miss that?”

 

I scrubbed through video on my ocular display and paused on the two of them half dressed and definitely in the middle of some *business*. 

 

“Oh well there y’go. They *did* do it or something.”  I shrugged and looked back at my wall of screens. 

 

“..I’m not about to broadcast it or nothing. I like my private shit to be private,” Marco said. 

 

“Me too,” David agreed. 

 

“Ok so.. good,” Marco leaned in and kissed the corner of David’s mouth. “It’ll be our secret.”

 

David smiled.

 

“I gotta go talk to Dante,” Marco said. “Take care of yourself.” His hand lingered on David’s shoulder as he stepped away.

 

I smiled. 

 

That was an unexpected pairing. 

 

I followed Marco on another screen. He was walking through Void for a moment until he came across Dante.  His table in the back of the club appeared out of the nothing. I looked at Dante's screen as Marco approached the table, and I watched him materialize.  I looked back again in time to see Dante's world fill in the gaps behind Marco. 

 

“Neat,” I breathed. 

​

“Heeey!  It’s Marco!” Dante yelled. “C’mere man!  Listen, you gotta tell me how I fuckin’ know you.”

 

Marco chuckled and lit a cigarette.  He slid into the booth next to Dante, who immediately asked to bum a smoke.  Marco pulled out his pack again.

 

“Oh gross you smoke menthols?!” Dante said.

 

“You want it or not?”

 

“Oh no I still want it. I just wanna complain about it first.”  Dante smirked at Marco, and Marco appeared to be both annoyed and amused as he handed Dante a cigarette. 

 

“So how’ve you been, D?”

 

“Oh you know,” Dante sighed. “How do we know each other again?  I dropped *a lot* of acid earlier and I’m, haha..”

 

“Oh,” I said, “it was LSD. Ok.”

 

“D we live inside some chick’s head.  Remember? I’m not even from here. I’m from the 1950’s.”

 

“Ooooh!”  Dante's eyes got big as he remembered where he really was. Then his mouth twisted into a smirk. “That’s why you look like a Grease reject!” He laughed. “*And* that’s even funnier because I just now remembered that you secretly *love* musicals!”  Dante pounded the table. “What’s your favorite song from Grease?”

 

Marco rolled his eyes.  Dante stared at him. Unblinking. 

 

“Alright *fine*!  ‘There are worse things I could do’ Rizzo’s the best character, I don’t care what anyone says. *Fuck* Sandra fucking Dee, I don’t give a shit about your story!  You don’t gotta give it up, honey, just learn how to give a fucking blow job!  It’ll be fine!  It’s not fucking hard!”

 

I laughed. 

 

Dante was *dying*. He was rolling in the booth, howling. 

 

“Oh my god!” Dante shouted. “Where did this fucking come from?!  You’re such a goddamn hardass all the time!”

 

“Well you’re a cranky little shit all the time,” Marco retorted. 

 

“Well maybe that’s because you’re such a *goddamn hardass*!  Look all I’m sayin’ is you gotta fuckin loosen up sometimes and just take a shitload of drugs an’ just... relax man.”

 

“I don’t think I’d be fun on drugs.  I think I’d freak out. And I carry a gun so.. nobody needs that.”  Marco paused and looked at Dante. “So what are you loosening up from?”

 

“Life is shitty,” Dante said. “C’mon man you know the situation. Don’t make me say it.”

 

“Alright well look.. I know you know what my life is like. It’s hard not to draw parallels.”

 

Dante shook his head. “It’s different. Sharon’s not my mom.”

 

“That’s not the point,” Marco said. He looked annoyed. “We’ve been through similar-“

 

“Nope,” Dante said. 

 

“Yes!  Actually!” Marco rose his voice. “Sharon is like your fucking mom whether you like it or not, D!”  Marco stood up and leaned on the table. “We’re the same!  And all I was trying to *fucking* do was tell you that I fucking understand!  But you gotta be a fucking dick about everything!”  Marco stopped suddenly and took a deep breath.  “If you ever need me, for any reason, I will come and I will help you without any judgment because I *do* understand.”  

 

He turned and stalked away, muttering to himself, “and I have to leave now so I don’t fucking shoot you ‘cuz you *piss me off*!”

 

“A’ight!  Buh-buy!  Thanks for dropin’ in, Marco!  This was fun!  We should do it again sometime!”  Dante shouted after him. 

 

Marco rolled his eyes. 

 

I looked at Reggie’s screen. 

 

She was home.  Pacing. 

 

I turned off my screens and went to my Everywhere Door.  I fed it Reggie’s code and opened it. 

 

“Nock nock,” I said. 

 

“Seth!”  Reggie looked startled. 

 

“Can I come in?”

 

“Yea!  D’you want tea? I was thinking of making a cup.” Reggie stepped into her kitchen. 

 

I stepped through the door and left it open behind me. 

 

“Yea sounds great,” I said, “so how’d it go?”

 

“How’d what go?” Reggie asked. 

 

I made a face. 

 

“How did you know?” Reggie whispered.

 

“C’mon,” I said, articulating the sentiment my exaggerated facial expression was meant to imply.

 

“Oh right. You can see everything.”

 

“Not quite everything,” I said, “I couldn’t see you when you went into the Core.”

 

“Interesting,” Reggie mused. “I wonder what you would have seen?  It was very..”

 

“All I found was static,” I said. 

 

“That’s.. almost how I remember it..” Reggie said slowly. 

 

“So did you get what you wanted,” I asked, and Reggie gave me a heavy look. 

 

“I got some stuff I didn’t ask for,” She said. 

 

“About Marco, right?  He was out there when-“

 

“He was Out there with somebody.. god I don’t remember who.  There’s too many of us now, maybe it was somebody new. He was helping.. it doesn’t really matter. I made them think about Dante and then they were thinking about Marco because—“

 

Reggie stopped talking and looked at the kitchen counter. 

 

“It’s ok,” I said, “I already know. Marco was abused by his mother, and Sharon basically raised Dante so she’s like his mother. The parallels exist.”

 

Reggie frowned. 

 

“I don’t like it either,” I said. 

 

“I’m just concerned about what it says..”

 

“About what?”

 

“I mean.. we don’t really know why we are the way we are. And Kate told us once that people who have multiple personalities often have a history of sexual abuse.”

 

“Well, Marcy is exhibiting some pretty sexually violent behavior,” I commented. 

 

“Right but—“ Reggie shifted and thought. “So our... understanding of this, for a while now, has been that each of us represents the memory of a past life.”

 

“How are you justifying modern and clearly future timelines.” I asked. 

 

“Multiverse theory,” Reggie answered, “and time isn’t linear. Not the way we think based on our limited perception.”

 

“Okay,” I said with a nod. 

 

“So, if this is all because Marcy was abused as a child, then are we wrong about that?” Reggie asked. 

 

“Not necessarily,” I said. “The subconscious is a weird place. If you have memories imprinted on your soul (or whatever) from previous lives, then they can be used for whatever weird business the brain gets up to under stress.  If you’re gonna have multiple personalities, why not build them out of people you already were?”

 

“But also, I don’t remember anything like that happening to her!  I used to be there all the time!”  Reggie pulled the kettle off the stove and poured hot water into mugs.  “I dunno,” she continued, “I just.. it definitely seems like there’s something wrong with Marcy, but I don’t remember anything so fucking terrible happening.  And what’s with all the villainous mothers?  Our mom was the *nice* parent! Maybe Dante and Marco are just a coincidence. Maybe they’re just trauma we never dealt with during their lifetimes.”

 

“Maybe,” I said. 

 

We watched the steam rise from our mugs for a moment.

 

“Well either way.. we have to do something about it,” Reggie said, “Don’t we?”

 

“Maybe?” I shrugged. “That’s getting into moral philosophy, and we could be here for hours.  But also, you can’t let him know that you know. Either of them really. I can’t imagine Marco being pleased about it. The man likes his secrets.”

 

“So I have to help them somehow without them knowing that I know...”

 

“Thought:” I held up a finger, “What if they don’t want to be helped?”

 

“Well..” Reggie considered this for a moment.

 

“I mean,” I continued, “Do we have a moral obligation to help someone, even when it violates their consent?  Or is there a higher moral obligation not to violate their consent?  Which, by the way, we’ve already done by knowing what we know without them knowing.”

 

Reggie sighed. “I thought you didn’t want to get into moral philosophy.”

 

“Because it’s hard to stop once I start, and I guess saying I didn’t want to talk about it was close enough to talking about it.”

 

“This is a real thing we need to figure out, though,” Reggie said. 

 

“But not right this second,” I said, “If watching everything from the outside my whole life has taught me anything, it’s that taking some time to process is always a good idea.”

 

“You’re right,” Reggie nodded, “there’s no rush.”

 

“You got board games?”