-remember back in chapter two?-

 

Dante clawed his way past me, and I sank back Inside. Hands frantically caught me.  David’s?  Yeah. David’s. I could hear voices but everything seemed to echo around my skull.  I was so exhausted.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  If these guys hadn’t been here I would have just passed out on the ground, but I couldn’t do that with them watching.  Reggie was already trying desperately to tell me something, but David kept her at bay.

 

“Reggie, stop.  Reggie!  Stop!”  David held out his hand.  Reggie frowned, but she stopped.  “Marco, can you hear me?”

 

They needed me.  

 

I blinked and took a breath.  “Yeah,” I said, “I’m fine.”  I stood up on my own and limped away from the core.

 

Reggie needed no further invitation.  “Marcy is gone!  And so is Jack!  She did something to him!”

 

I stopped dead, and I heard David gasp as he almost ran into me.  “What do you mean, ‘gone’?”

 

“I mean she’s fucking gone!”  Reggie screamed.  “She was laying into Jack like everything’s his fault, and then this black tar shit reaches out of the nothingness and /fucking takes him/!  And then the same shit takes Marcy!  They’re.  Gone!”

 

I looked at Reggie’s face and tried to absorb what she was telling me.  I stared at her and couldn’t think.  “I can’t fuckin’ deal with this right now,” I said, and began walking again.

 

Reggie wasn’t happy about that.  She followed after me, scowling and screaming.  David tried to calm her, but she was in a spiral nobody could penetrate.  Her voice was making it difficult to concentrate, but finally I found my door.

 

I pulled it open and spun to face Reggie.  “No girls allowed,” I said.  

 

David hesitated.  I locked eyes with him briefly, then jerked my head toward my open door.  He stepped quickly past me, turning only briefly to give Reggie an apologetic glance.  

 

“Look,” I said, “I’ll fuckin’ deal with it.  I just need a minute.”

 

I shut the door and exhaled. 

 

“Where is this?”  David asked from behind me.

 

“I don’t know,” I said. “Somebody told me to think of someplace peaceful once, and this is what I thought of.” 

 

“You don’t go back to your—“

 

“Home?  No.  Not if I can help it.  I like it here better.”

 

We inched closer to each other.

 

“Why are you here?” I asked.

 

“Because I’m worried about you.”  David took another step.  “You’ve been out a lot.  You were nearly unconscious when you came back this time.”

 

I smiled a little and looked down to hide it.  “So I’m a little tired.”

 

“I’m just saying.. remember what happened to Todd.”  David touched my shoulder and I felt myself inhale.   

 

Was he..?

 

I met his eyes and my brow twitched. “So you came to take care of me?”

 

He sucked his lip between his teeth in response.

 

“Okay,” I breathed with a smile. 

 

David wasn’t my usual type. He was shy and unassertive, but he was comforting. 

 

I needed that right now.

 

(FtB)

 

I was woken by Reggie. Her panic was like an alarm inside my skull and I nearly jumped out of my skin.  David startled awake and followed me out. 

 

“What?  What?!  Reggie!  Use fucking words!” I barked.  My initial panic was fast turning to rage.  I didn’t enjoy the sharp jolt that felt like a knife in my chest, and it fucking pissed me off.

 

She pointed outside.  “He’s fucking passed out drunk!”

 

“What?  Who?”  I pressed my hand to the side of my head. Reggie’s voice was grating, and her hysterical spray of emotions made it impossible to concentrate. 

 

“Fucking Dante!!!”

 

I felt dizzy.  And pretty fucking irritated.

 

“Fine,” I said, “I’ll fucking handle it.”

 

I moved toward the core and pressed my fingertips against it. It felt solid beneath my touch. Almost like glass. I took an agitated breath and closed my eyes.  

 

I furrowed my brow. 

 

This wasn’t fucking working. 

 

I set my jaw.  I was angry, and anger was usually all I needed.  Just be more intense than the guy who’s currently out. 

 

But I didn’t want to.  I was tired.  Exhausted.  I didn’t want to go Outside and handle /anything/ let alone a hangover and a rush on our homework.  That was some bullshit and I was wrecked.

 

I didn’t like the others to know that I /could/ be wrecked.  I was their protector.  I walked them down dark streets.  I could ALWAYS be there when they needed me.

 

That’s what they had to think, otherwise the trust was gone.

 

“Marco.”  David put his hand on my shoulder.

 

“I can’t do it,” I said. “He’s out cold and I’m.. exhausted.”

 

“I’ll go,” David said, “I.. I can do it.”

 

I leaned in closer.  “You’ve never been out there.  You won’t have a... an identity to.. y’know, /be/.”

 

David considered this.  “I think.. I can do it.”   He put his hands on the core.

 

“Ok,” I breathed and touched my head trying to think,  “You gotta get mad.  That’s the only way you’ll overpower him.  You gotta get pissed and kick him out.”

 

David touched the core and closed his eyes.  The corners of his mouth dropped, and his fingertips sunk in a little.  I stepped back, and Reggie was immediately hissing in my ear.

 

“Marco!  We need to find Marcy and Jack!”

 

“Not right now, Reg,” I said, trying to brush her off as though watching David struggle his way outside was somehow important to the process.

 

“What the shit, Marco?  I thought you cared about them?  I mean at least Marcy, but Jack too!  I thought you cared about Jack!”

 

 I grabbed her by the throat and shoved her up against a wall.  I wanted a wall to slam her into, and so there was one.  “What makes you think I don’t care about Jack!?  Hm!?   I have ALWAYS looked after him!  And where were you when this all happened!?  What did you do about it?!   You just stand there and watch?!  Huh!?  You fucking cry about it!?  Did it fucking help!?”

 

I let her go and she crumpled.   I turned my back.  If I made her cry I didn’t want to see it.  Crying was fucking pointless.

 

“Listen Reggie,” I said and paused to light a cigarette, “what’s done is done.  I don’t know how to find them.  This place is a fucking fun house. Pick a direction and walk in it, hope you see them.  Whatever.  The fact of the matter is, our REAL problem, is that Marcy has been Missing In Action for over a month.  Like, I get that you’re worried about what’s happening to her and Jack /right now/, but the fucking reality is that we have to function.” I pointed to the core.  “If they’re both gone then we need to spend our time figuring out what the fuck to do without them.”

 

“So, what?  We’re just gonna—“

 

“We’re just gonna carry on, Reggie!  Like we always do!  Because we have to!”  I looked to the core just in time to see David disappear into it.  The colors seemed to fight for a moment, then Dante was spat out like a seed.  “You wanna be pissed at somebody, Reg?”  I gestured to Dante.  “There’s your target.  Now let me fuckin’ sleep.”

 

I stalked back to my door.

 

When I woke up again I was someplace familiar. It was dark. There was light under the door, and I felt afraid to make a sound. I closed my eyes and prayed to find myself somewhere else when I opened them. 

 

I could hear voices. 

 

I held my breath to listen. Was that my mother’s voice?  She was angry. I could hear her marching around in the living room. I quivered silently in my closet.  I hoped she wasn’t drunk. 

 

Then I heard another voice. Who was that?  I pressed my ear to the closet door and held my breath so I could hear.  Who could that be?  Who was she yelling at?  One of my cousins?  I thought they didn’t come here anymore.  

 

I opened the door and stepped into my r.. into Dante's room.  I looked back at the sliding closet door, baffled.  I felt like I was dreaming, but I couldn’t remember how I knew this place.   I knew who lived here, and most of the story, but for one panic ridden moment I couldn’t remember why or how. 

 

The shouting escalated and I mustered my courage. I burst out of Dante's room and made my voice as low as it would go. I shouted and advanced on Dante's home like I owned it. He looked at me with the same bafflement in his eyes that I’d felt moments ago.  I bullied Sharon away from him, and the spell began to break. 

 

Scenery fell away into nothingness and I remembered where I was. I let out a breath. This was a better place than I thought I was when I woke up. 

 

“You ok?” I asked without looking at Dante. 

 

“I’m fine,” he spat, “fuck off.”

 

“Hey,” I said, “I didn’t mean to be here. I was tying to fucking sleep and I woke up in your closet.”

 

Dante smirked. “You’re used to closets tho, ain’t ‘cha?”

 

“Ok YOU can fuck of now, Dante!”  I reached out and shoved him, and he came back at me with a blade. 

 

“Touch me again, Marco!”

 

“Jesus fucking Christ!  I could fucking waste you right now, kid!”  I pointed my gun at him, and his mouth twisted into a grin. 

 

“Fucking do it then!”  

 

Dante spread his arms to make himself a bigger target,  and I lowered my weapon. 

 

“Christ, Dante, I’m not gonna fucking shoot you.”

 

“Tease.”  Dante stuck his tongue out and turned to walk away. 

 

“What is wrong with you?”

 

“A lot of things, what’s wrong with you?” He turned back just to sass me.  I scowled. 

 

“None of your business. Is David back yet?”

 

Dante shrugged.  “How the fuck should I know?  I’ve been trapped in there this whole time.”

 

We went separate ways. I found myself back at the Core. Reggie was there, and I paused momentarily to consider my next move.  I was gonna have to apologize to her. 

 

“Reggie, listen, I’m sorry.”  I tried to be sincere. She was irritating, but I was permanently tired these days and I was pretty sure I /should/ be sorry even if I didn’t feel it.  “I shouldn’t have.. I don’t even remember, but I’m sorry.”

 

“Fine, Marco,” she said, “you’re sorry.”

 

“Yea I get it, you’re mad at me. But you’re /tired/ Reggie.  You need to rest. You need to go back to your.. wherever you’re from and, like, have a cup of tea or whatever. Or bourbon. I dunno what you do. I don’t really know you, Reggie, but you gotta go home and relax for a minute.  Or a week.” 

 

Reggie glared at me. I could feel her thinking.  She was still mad but she knew I was right. She was as tired as I was. 

 

“Fine.” She turned and abruptly disappeared. 

 

I let out a breath and looked up. The Core was still blue.  

 

Blue like David. 

 

I touched the core. My bright red bled into David’s slate blue. I felt warm. I wondered if he could feel it, and I pressed a little further.  I could see. 

 

He felt strange. He felt separated from himself.  He was new and lost and he didn’t remember the things that made him the way he was. He almost seemed happier.  I remembered a time before I remembered my life here. I remembered being happy.  

 

[visual: Marco leans in and overtakes David.]

But.. I had a job to do, and David didn’t know anything. 

[David looks up at red core]